Good Sick Excuses

Posted on February 5, 2008. Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , |


Here we go, with the top 12 Good Sick Excuses.

Purportedly from the Sunday, April 14, 1994 edition of the Washington Post. A contest was held in which readers were asked to come up with excuses to miss a day of work:

  1. If it is all the same to you, I won’t be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns today.
  2. When I got up this morning, I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac. I can’t get off the john, but I feel good about it.
  3. I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the other half back an hour Saturday and spent 18 hours in some kind of space-time continuum loop, reliving Sunday (right up until the explosion). I was able to exit the loop only by reversing the polarity of the power source exactly e*log(pi) clocks in the house while simultaneously rapping my dog on the snout with a rolled up Times. Accordingly, I will be in late, or early.
  4. I can’t come in to work today because I’ll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. Okay?
  5. Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how about them Skins, huh? So, I won’t be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, I’ll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling.
  6. The dog ate my car keys. We’re going to hitchhike to the vet.
  7. I prefer to remain an enigma.
  8. My mother-in-law has come back as one of the Undead and we must track her to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart and give her eternal peace. One day should do it.
  9. I am converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian.
  10. I am extremely sensitive to a rise in the interest rates.
  11. I refuse to travel to my job in the District until there is a commuter tax. I insist on paying my fair share.
  12. I’m feeling a little disgruntled this morning. You think I should come in?
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Print Out A Doctor’s Excuse

Posted on February 5, 2008. Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , |

If you have come this far, you must be searching for information on “how to print out a doctor’s excuse” or something like that. Right?

Well first thing first,  Be Really Careful.

This is not something that should be taken as a joke. If you want to print out a Doctor’s excuse, for anything other than entertainment purposes, then you are not thinking.

If you’re looking for information on how to get a Doctor’s excuse and you’re willing to risk getting caught, then you are basically trying to dodge a problem with a bigger problem.

Let’s say you were sick or had one drink too many last night and missed on work or school or whatever, do you think it’s best to try to concoct a story that could – if you’re caught – would land you in a bigger heat.

It doesn’t make sense whatsoever.

You’re probably going to come across sites  that are willing to sell you “a doctor’s excuse”, but proceed with caution my friend. This people are not telling you the consequence of such an action and they’re in it for pure profit.

An example of one of the sites i found states the following in their disclaimer:

 Disclaimer: This Novelty Fake Doctor’s Excuse is designed for printing and framing and although it may look real it is not a substitute for a real Dr. Excuse and should only be used for entertainment purposes.

In the end, no matter what you think or how stressful a situation, you’re better off to admit your mistakes and appeal directly to whoever is you’re thinking of presenting your “doctor’s excuse” to.

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